Proper 22 / Year B
“It is not good for the human to be alone.”
This morning we hear one of the best known
stories in the bible, which is also one of the most misunderstood. Even if you have never read the bible or
attended a church service you know God creates Eve (the woman) out of Adam (the
man) to be his “helper” or “helpmate.”
And most likely you interpret this in some form or fashion to mean Eve
is created as subordinate to Adam. This
is the part of the story most everybody knows and it is also the part everyone
gets wrong. Allow me to explain.
“It is not good for the human to be
alone.”
After each the creative acts in the first
chapter of Genesis, God looks at what has been brought into being and evaluates
it as being good. But here, in the
beginning of the second chapter, God identifies a problem. The first human is alone and this is not
good. God recognizes the human needs an ezer kenegdo, a Hebrew phrase translated
most often in this text as “helper”, but this translation is a bit misleading
because it tends to imply inferiority. Ezer kenegdo is used most often in the
Old Testament to describe God… “the Lord is my helper” (ex: Psalm 54:4). Ezer
kenegdo conveys the notion of deliverer, rescuer, and even life-saver. The problem God sees is not that the human is
lonely, but that the human is lost, isolated, and lacking the kind of
relationship necessary to become complete and whole.
God’s initial solution to this problem is
to parade every created animal before the human to see if one will
suffice. Again, if companionship is the
problem, most likely a dog or a cat or a horse would suffice. But no creature can bring about the
completeness God sees is lacking. So God
does a remarkable thing. God causes the
human to enter into a deep sleep and removes part of the human’s side to make
another human.
Again, the textual translation of “rib” is
a misleading because the Hebrew word suggests “side” as a more accurate
rendering. What is removed from the
human becomes a female. What remains
becomes a male. And if you have been
paying attention, up until now I have referred to first person as “the human” because
in a strict sense this person was both man and woman. With the separation of genders each person
now has an ezer kenedgo – a person
who enables them to grow into the fullness of human potential.
Most often we see this special relationship
being manifested in a marriage. We had a
wonderful wedding here yesterday and at it I read the familiar words of the
liturgy:
The union of
husband and wife, in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual
joy [and] for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and
adversity.
And we prayed this for them:
Give them wisdom
and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the
other [note the sense of mutuality] a strength in need, a counselor in
perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy.
This is the ezer kenegdo found in marriage.
Each partner helps the other to live into the fullness of God’s
intention for him or for her. And this
simply is not possible if we are alone/isolated.
But is ezer
kenegdo specifically reserved for matrimony? Does this mean those of us who are not
married or divorced or widowed are alone in the sense God deems to be not
good? Note how the text says “For this
reason a man shall leave his parents and ‘cling’ (or ‘cleave’) to his
wife.” This fierce connection and
loyalty appears to be a prerequisite for ezer
kenegdo. Elsewhere in the bible we
find the same word “cleave” used to describe the relationship between Ruth and
her mother-in-law Naomi. Ruth and Naomi
become each other’s helper, each other’s ezer
kenegdo.
Think about the relationships you enjoy in
your life. They come in many different
shapes and sizes. Some are more
superficial than others. Some are more
important to us than others. And my
guess is you have a few relationships marked by ezer kenegdo; a person who may be a mentor or a confidant or a
gentle corrector or a shoulder to cry on.
It maybe someone you talk with multiple times in a day or someone you
see only a couple of times a year. It
may be a spouse or a sibling or a childhood friend. The handful of people who fill this role in
your life share one thing in common: each helps you to realize you are not
alone in this world. And this is God’s
deep desire for you and it is God’s gift to you.
