Matthew 14:22-33
Proper 14 / Year A
It
has not been a good eight days for St. Peter.
In last Sunday’s reading, after he suggests they build three mountaintop
booths – one for Moses, one for Elijah, and one for Jesus – no less of an
authority than God the Father Almighty tells him to be quiet and listen to
Jesus. And now today, we find Peter
being chastised for his lack of faith after stepping out of the boat and
walking on the waves toward Jesus before beginning to sink. Eight days, two readings, and two
rebukes. No, these are a couple of
Sundays the great apostle most likely would rather have other readings
assigned.
Still,
there is something endearing about Peter and his ability to say or do the wrong
thing at the wrong time. Like they say
in baseball, it is better to go down swinging than to strike out with the bat
on your shoulder. I have said before I
would rather be Peter soaking wet from the waist down than be like the other
disciples playing it safe back in the boat.
I would rather have Jesus say to me, “Why did you doubt?” than “Why
didn’t you even try?”
Why
didn’t you try? Sometimes we don’t try
because it just isn’t import to us.
Sometimes it is because we don’t know how to attack the problem. And sometimes it is because we just don’t
want to embarrass ourselves. We don’t
want to look foolish. We don’t want to
set ourselves up for failure. We don’t
want to make ourselves vulnerable.
Avoiding
vulnerability is a major problem, at least according to the researcher and
writer Brené Brown. She holds we all
long for connection and a sense of belonging but have a deep-seated fear of
being rejected. The experience of
rejection leads to a profound sense of shame; an emotion we seek to prevent at
all costs. She cites many different ways
we numb ourselves to limit vulnerability.
If we don’t expose ourselves, if we don’t allow ourselves to be “seen”,
then we can’t be hurt.
According
to Brown, this numbing or hiddenness comes at a huge cost because we can’t be
selective about it. We can’t simply
decide to minimize risk and maximize reward.
While being vulnerable opens us to possibility of pain and loss, she
notes it is also the “birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, and love.” Brown contends you cannot eliminate the
difficult and uncomfortable feelings in your life without having it take a toll
on the things which make you feel gratitude and happiness.
Every
happy marriage begins with person getting down on one knee and proposing
(vulnerability). Every book begins with
a writer sending a manuscript to a publisher for evaluation and critique
(vulnerability). Every new recipe you
try creates the possibility for a new, favorite meal or a very bad dinner
(vulnerability).
The
text tells us when Jesus approaches the boat the disciples are afraid because
they think they are seeing a ghost. He
says three things to them. “Take heart.” “It is I.”
“Do not be afraid.” Some versions
of the bible translate “Take heart” as “Have courage”, noting the Latin and
French roots for both words are the same.
Literally translated, “It is I” is “I am”, harkening back to the holy
name God reveals to Moses. “Do not be
afraid” is as much of an invitation as it is a command.
These
three statements inspire Peter to be vulnerable in the midst of a fearful
situation. Take heart is an invitation
to live life to the fullest, even if it opens to the door to failure and
rejection. In the midst of a world we
cannot always predict or control, “I am” reminds us one thing is certain: God
is with us and God does not change. Do
not be afraid encourages us to live with a sense of possibility rather than acting
to avoid the worst outcome.
Many
sermons have been preached about why Jesus decides to build the church upon
Peter, whom he names as “a rock”. I
don’t know if there is one single quality about him which merits his calling,
but surely his willingness to be vulnerable is a major part of the mix. Nowhere will this be more evident than when
he accepts an invitation to visit the gentile home of Cornelius, a Roman
centurion, and to baptize him and his family.
It is a bold move which opens the doors of the church to all people. It also elicits criticism from several of the
leaders of the early church, so of whom are the same folks who played it safe
by staying in the boat that night on lake.
We
live in an anxious time. When the pandemic began, we learned how to isolate and insolate in order to feel safe. It was a good strategy at the time, to be
sure. Now, every Sunday after church I
sense a deep joy in the Parish Hall as we spend time with one another. We are experiencing the value of connecting
and belonging. It is an act of
vulnerability, not so much in the sense we might be exposed to a communicable disease,
but in that we are risking being in relationship (albeit, in a fairly safe
place). As Jesus bid to his followers
long ago, he bids to us: “Take heart! I
am! Do not be afraid!”
Perhaps
this week you might pay attention to opportunities your reject and invitations you
accept. Be mindful of the value of being
vulnerable.
