“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me.”
“What!” It was the only word I said. It is only word I could say when I received a
call alerting me Shirley Waller had died.
My cell phone records indicate it came precisely at 1:00 on Tuesday
afternoon and lasted exactly one minute.
I was in Newport News and all I wanted to do was get back to Suffolk and
get to the Waller’s home. Questions
raced through my mind: How is Roy? What
can I do to help? How can this be
happening? I suspect most of us had a
similar reaction.
That initial
shock has made room for a myriad of thoughts, feelings, and emotions. I am so grateful that many of us were able to
be here with Shirley on Sunday as we celebrated the baptism of Charlotte, her
newest great-grandchild. It could have
been anybody’s baby and Shirley would have radiated with enough love and joy to
fill this worship space, but a child from her own family made it even more special
for her. And then, like every Sunday,
she had family and friends over to her home for lunch. Last Sunday, with the baptism, it was a full
house! It gives me a deep sense of peace
knowing Shirley was a part of that day.
I am also deeply grateful
she passed peacefully, even though it did not make time for goodbyes, final
words, and the opportunity to make amends.
But Shirley lived her life in a way that none of these things were
necessary. Was there ever a time she
didn’t tell a family member she loved them?
Is there any word of wisdom she needed to pass on she did not convey
every day through her actions? Could
there possibly be a person who had an issue with Shirley that needed to be
resolved? I would prefer to have Shirley
with us for another twenty years or more, but am grateful for the way she lived
her life ready to meet her Maker with no regrets or unfinished business.
How did people
regard Shirley? Let me read for you some
of the things people posted on Facebook upon learning of her passing:
She was such a wonderful person and a big part of my
church life while growing up.
Such a wonderful, loving woman! My life was blessed and enriched for having
known her.
What a true blessing to have known Shirley.
Shirley epitomized a true Christian in every way.
Shirley made everyone (including me) feel welcomed and
loved at St Paul’s.
The last time I went to church… just before my last
surgery as we went to the communion rail [Shirley] squeezed my hand and said are
you ok... precious moments.
Always, always a wonderful smile and warm hug.
I will always remember sitting near to her in choir, and
for her warm smiles, and heartfelt laughs.
She personified love and kindness. She and Roy welcomed me into the St. Paul’s
family, and have meant so much to… our whole family. Heaven has gained a beautiful angel.
A beautiful lady and my dear friend. I will miss you so much.
Someone once asked
me if I knew a real Christian... someone
that… actually lived the way a Christian should. Knowing they weren’t talking about me my
thoughts went straight to Shirley… Anyone who could handle Mr. Waller for all
these years definitely earned her hallo.
If these are not enough
of a tribute,
the Country Book Store has tweeted that they have lost a valued customer and in
honor of Shirley will be running a half-off sale this weekend. Not familiar with the Country Book Store? It is located on Rt. 460 in Waverly right
next to the 7-Eleven. Shirley found it a
couple of years ago while travelling with Roy and good friends Jesse and Kathy Pruden. They were headed to the Boys Home in
Covington and decided to make a stop for coffee. Roy and Jesse went into the convenience store
while Shirley and Kathy decided to check out what was next door. They burst through the front door giggling
with the delight of school girls at the prospect of investigating a
never-before visited store. If you know
nothing of the Country Book Store, this is to your credit. Far from what its name implies, it is an
adult book store that specializes in, well, pornographic material. I believe it was Shirley who, upon taking a survey
of environment, first perceived something was amiss. Kathy, seeing only video tapes, asked with
confidence and curiosity, “Where is the book section?” I like to imagine the looks on the faces of
these two fine southern, Christian ladies as they realized the nature of the
establishment in which they were standing.
Can’t you just picture the mortified look on Shirley’s face as she
grabbed Kathy by the arm and said, “Ohhhhh, I think we had better get out of
here.” Shirley loved to tell that story
and I love that she loved to laugh at herself.
It is a quality that pairs nicely with the deeply emotional
and spiritual way she held those she loved.
Your joys and accomplishments caused her to soar. Your burdens and challenges were something she
carried in her heart. Most Sundays and
not a few weekdays I heard about both from her.
She carried the wealth and the weight of your worlds on her shoulders
and brought it to this place where she shared it with God whom she knew as ever
and always compassionate.
I want to say something to Shirley’s
grandchildren. I want you to know how
much I envy each of you. Two of my
grandparents died before I was born. The
other two were gone before they made much of a formative impact on my
life. You have had not just a
grandmother for three decades, you have been blessed to have an exceptional
grandmother. Because I didn’t have your
experience I can’t imagine the pain and loss you feel this day. We will all miss Shirley, but one of the
first things Roy said to me on Tuesday was this would be especially hard for
each of you.
Years ago I came across a
book titled Mary’s Way by Peggy Tabor Millin and something she wrote
always seems to come back to me at times like this. She
described a common, everyday experience that led her to see a deeper truth
about life and relationships:
I was on a train on a rainy day.
The train was slowing down to pull into a station. For some reason I became intent on watching
the raindrops on the window. Two
separate drops, pushed by the wind, merged into one for a moment and then
divided again – each carrying with it a part of the other. Simply by that momentary touching, neither
was what it had been before. As each one
went on to touch other raindrops, it shared not only itself, but what it had
gleaned from the other.
Millin then reflected on what
she witnessed and wrote, “I realize that we never touch people so lightly that
we do not leave a trace.”
Her insight seems
especially true today, doesn’t it! For Shirley’s
children, grandchildren, adopted children, co-opted children, embraced as
children, “I don’t care who you are, you are a part of our family” children, for
all of us – our task is not to be like Shirley.
It is to take what Shirley has given to us and make it our own. I doubt there are many of us here whose life
Shirley touched only ‘lightly’. Her
touch on each of our lives has been incredibly significant. We are better people for it and we cannot
help but enrich the lives of others because of it.
This morning we hear the words of Jesus: “Do not let
your hearts be troubled. Believe in God,
believe also in me.” While “what?” may
have been the first thing we said on Tuesday, emerging slowly – for some of us now
just as a glimmer and for others only yet as a hope – is a sense of peaceful
acceptance, joy, and gratitude. Shirley
had a wonderful way of holding loss and grief and allowing it to transform into
trouble-free faith. I pray that each of
us who has been touched by her may find this to be a gift she has given to us.
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