The eleven
disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed
them. When they saw him, they worshiped
him; but some doubted. Mt.
28:16
Janet Hunt, a Lutheran pastor in Illinois, tells a
story about a high school Baccalaureate service. One of the graduating seniors spoke about a
time when her friend was diagnosed with cancer.
It called into question everything she thought about her faith. She was angry, confused, helpless. The young woman described what it was like to
be at his side when he took his last breath.
Quite unexpectedly, it was a moment of profound peace and the speaker related
how her prayers moved her to acceptance and gratitude, allowing her to
understand God was present in that moment.
Later in the ceremony, one of the clergy members in the community
addressed the class about the importance of keeping the faith. He told them of a time he prayed with a
friend who had cancer and how it left him never to return.
Hunt then states she much prefers the witness of the
student than her colleague because…
“she told her own true story of a journey from faith
through doubt to faith again. And not
because God bowed to her yearning whim.
But simply because God made God’s own self known to her in the darkness.”
The story invites us to ponder which experience of God
rings more true to your own experience of life.
Today is Trinity Sunday, a moment in the church year
dedicated to an idea, a doctrine. At its
heart, this day invites us to ask, “What is God like?” “What is God’s true nature?” The only way to begin to answer this question
is to ask, “How have I experienced God in my life?” “When have I sensed God was present, what
happened in that moment, and how did it shape what I believe about God?”
The word Trinity
is not found in the bible, although within twenty years after Jesus’ ministry
we find Paul ending his letters with a reference to the Father, the Son, and
the Holy Spirit. Trinity is first used by Tertullian, one of the church fathers, in
a document written almost two centuries after Jesus was born. In fact, it did not become the official
teaching of the church until the Council of Nicaea over 100 years after that. One critic wryly observes the church tells us
God is two men and a bird.
But the church never arrived at the Doctrine of the
Trinity because it wanted an intellectual, incomprehensible way to describe
God. We got here because it is the best,
most faithful way to describe our experience of God.
The Rev. Dr. Carl Gregg, a minister of a Unitarian
Universal church, writes this:
Early Christians experienced God was beyond them, “as utterly
transcendent.” They recognized that the
fullness of God is beyond our language, beyond our knowledge, and beyond our
experience...
They also experienced God as with them, “as
present historically in the person of Jesus.”
This became known as the Incarnation: that Jesus embodied the ways of
God in his life. Over time, because his
followers saw the ways of God so clearly in his life, this itinerant Jewish
rabbi known as Jesus of Nazareth, became known by some as Jesus the Christ.
And… the early Christians… also experienced God as within them, “as present in the Spirit
within their community.” So, although
there was a transcendent aspect of God, that would always be beyond their experience and even after
Jesus was no longer physically with them,
early Christians still experienced the immanence – the closeness – of God that
is… “closer yet than breathing.” They
call this aspect of God “Spirit.”
The gospels were not written to make an accurate
record of an order of historical events, but rather to tell a story. In Matthew’s gospel, the eleven disciples
have heard reports Jesus is alive, but when they gather on the mountain in Galilee,
it is the first they see him after the resurrection… and it is the only time
they see him. This is the setting where they
worship, but some doubt. Matthew offers
a candid description of the disciples’ experience in that moment.
The Greek word translated here as doubt is
found only one other place in the entire New Testament. It occurs when Jesus walks on the water and
approaches the boat where the disciples are struggling at the oars. You remember the story. At Jesus’ invitation, Peter steps out on the
water, looks around, and begins to sink.
Jesus grabs him, they get into the boat, and says to Peter, “Why did you
doubt?”
In both uses, doubt is not the opposite of faith, but
a part of it. It is not a mark of
failure, but rather a response to an experience… one that in the moment is difficult
to incorporate into one’s understanding and system of belief. “Can I really do the amazing things Jesus is
doing?” “Jesus is alive [exclamation
point/question mark]”. “My friend is
dying of cancer and there is nothing I can do about it.”
On this day when we celebrate the Doctrine of the
Trinity, we are not so much saying here is an idea which is a rock on which we
can stand and never be shaken. This day
is more a recognition that faith is more like a journey; a pilgrimage which sometimes
takes us through tranquil settings and other times is like scaling a steep
mountain and then again there are moments when we feel lost in a deep valley or
a dark, dense forest. Worship is a part
of the journey. So too is doubt.
To have faith is to acknowledge God is beyond us, a
mystery we can never fully comprehend. To
have faith is to realize God is with us, seen and known in human flesh and
action. To have faith is to sense God is
within us, individually and collectively.
To have faith is to accept life’s path will take us from faith to doubt
to faith over and over again.
Never forget that when the eleven first saw Jesus they
worshiped him, but some doubted. That
was that moment. Each one of them went
from the mountain experience and traveled to the ends of the earth making disciples
of all people. No matter what you have
been through, not matter what questions you carry, no matter what takes you
high or what sinks you low, you too can do the same. You have everything you need to live and
share the Christian life as best you can.
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